SUNDAY MEMORIES

The above is a self portrait I conjured some time ago. I felt it a more powerful reprensentation of my on coming energy level. Really computer illiterate here and paying for it.  

To the left is a cool phase i was going through. This still continues for me in my art. 

 Mr. Sandman ....................
and lastly Mildred and her tomato tremendous !!!

ALL THE PRETTY KITTIES ; WHEN THE MIND TURNS

Been hanging out with my man Jerry Uselton and of course my woman Lisa Gilapeau; not to mention several dogs and cats in varying states of coming and going. ---But all stages of life are tough. Being rasied not to feel anything other than fight or flight makes everyday a cinematic day. TECHNOMATIC ..... and while the days pass in a state of accleration when I look back I see a slo-mo goulash of happenstance. It was brought to my attention last week  that "people" don't walk onto nor into unusual sights or interactions  everyday.  I HAVE. EVERY SINGLE DAY! those capital letters are the Aries coming out in me , I'm so 23 like that. Nothing personal to the group of 20 somethings whoever they are. peace and love . 

Becasue  I am an aries. and while for the longest time that subject has been hoo doo poo poo to a lot of people that I being of relatively sound mind and tormented judgemental skills judge most skepically. There IS something happening here ....AND MOST CERTAINLY ain't exactly clear.
We the boomers have seen this before............. this is not new. sorry. You're not that special. The boomers have seen some shit. But we have always kept moving by a maniacal  force.  BECAUSE WE HAVE TO REMEMBER WHERE WE CAME FROM ! Is it strange we should change?  I don't know..... why don't you ask her? ( a little neil young thrown down there) Because once again in our boomer status we are seeing and living this shitopia of brain matter collide. Mary Shelley's world is becoming real to me......so tangable.

Now the work above is Jerry Uselton and if you've follow me before then you're aleady aware of Jerry. There are 500 baaaaah zillion artist's in the world ....... let's be two of them. Or form a group. It will be the We All Know Something You Dont Club and when we meet we will share an object or a story ...... matters not but should be unique. Just a brain glitch. Shite happens.
 This Sunday, which is  most unfortunately for me a Saturday ... it's about memories.  And the memories will become stories. My cargo has indeed been strange and heavy.

In my thoughts now as I'm working being it like a slave ,or as an artist on a lenghty Sabbatical I still see the and connect with the animals far more than humans. In fact I hold them in my heart as the Living Christ. 

 I have experienced most every kind of hoo doo you can imagine. Along with my family ....large but dysfunctional in a hitchcock way. I was born in an asylum/ santarium as I believe I have currently mentioned , as well as a hospital. Deemed by Ellen G White to be a promised land per the man, God. I can recall many a summer day as a child my mom talking with by passers, people who had gotten out of the sanitarium and were out for a stroll. My mother was kind to these people, she was able to calm their energy. The ranch home I grew up in was a mini cosmic magnetical forum for the arriving.   

"They" say that cats aren't bothered by unidentified flying objects. Once contained in an enclosed area they are in tune to every spectrum of energy. Don't underestimate these beings! They are majestic hunters! And whilst the bear might a force , or the allmight grasp of the shark, the thought of coming close to the big cats can make me shiver in me boots. God's praises to these majestic creatures that I have had the privledge to have know at birth and death. I am blown away by the animal kingdom, and I accept them and pray they accept me. For my sins are many.

MOVING ALONG....

Okay, so there's a gaping space at this moment in my blog. And I'm willing to be that if I were 30 years younger I would've figured it out in about 10 minutes. I mean..... while we were out making a living raising our children they were entering into a cyber world even if they were only touching the outer layer. THEY WERE INFECTED. 

Do you feel that this world has always been controlled by a Machine? Or do you think the Machine just within the past 15 years took control?  Or even earlier than that? I think people are weird. And if you ask most people will tell you I'm weird. 

I'm still heading toward Monty Python. I'm still waiting for the saw tooth buck rabbit. or what ever it was. 

I hope there are enough  ARTISTS and  CHRISTIANS to hold this world together for awhile And animals. But if they really want to exit this world for the next level which should be heaven then I absolutely understand . I think the shit is hitting the fan. 

looks comfortable ? yes probably so! This makes me think that there are probably tens of thousands of mystic swings out there...... conversations, laughter and tears. Nights alone, just looking at the house, waiting for company. 

Waiting to be lived in. Been lived in ! This used to be a large farm for sheep. Yes it was brought to my attention. Yes sir. The farmers name was Roscoe and he owned one hugh pasture for sheep . That hopefully goes on to a beautiful story so I'll let it go at that.
But if you're downsizing to a bluebird tiny house I have an offer for you!!

I Can't remember crap 

I understand destiny and I understand   

creating destiny. I understand the concept of karma. I totally understand and feel the Resurrection. 

I feel the life breathing from trees. When the wind is blowing I feel the emotion it's using. When dog's howl I'm there with them ...... and when humans howl I hear my own. 

But I still don't know crap about technology. 

goodnight wayne

WHAT DREAMS MAY FOLLOW

AUGUST 

How about August ? 

Up until now in my whole wide life all thought I've given to August is that it's black dog sweating hot .  As far back as my childhood August and September are the seasons of smelly people , dogs, city streets. You name it. And I will proudly say now that I hate the heat. I was born a heat hater.    

But....you name it !  You call it . The people that worship the sun, I think about those people and it seems that ..... these people are locked in childhood. Sunlight is good , yaw . There was this time in September long long ago.... now gather close, shhhhh. 

Let me think.... it was 1967. Maybe I was listening to the Archies around that time. The Archies were were a comic rock band based on a comic book. They produced teen age hits. Better than Katy Perry and most of the jacked up jive ass rabid rabbit that's out there now.

But anyway. It was that ending of summer when the leaves were falling and gathering in wind blown piles then nature would touch them , as today , with that sleepy eyed rest is coming aroma. And it was then in a little town called Old Hickory during a late summer evening that I felt my first twang / awakening/ recognition/ surprise of something called love. Something called attraction. His name was Phil, and up until that moment I had been repulsed by the very sight of him. He never wore shoes, he was covered in freckles, tall and thin. Conan o Brien comes to mind. And there we were in the leaves talking 60's stuff and the wind blew while

 he shuffled his feet in the leaves. Such a I was 10 years old and had just completely lost it. And as a creature of perpetual habit the first thing I did was take in the scent of the season and embraced what that scent would forever remind me of. 

50 years later what do we have ? 

It's all gone . 

BIG FAT TEAR DROPS

WHEN A DRAMA QUEEN WEEPS

For now my audience will have to bear with me as I alone suffer through the indignation of technological illiteracy . 

A crazy storm is brewing outside and I can truly say this is the only occurance in my time of humilitation that brings me comfort.

I will confess now ... I live for storms. The onset and the 
actual storm . The sky when it darkens off in the distance
 and the rumbling that starts in waves as it comes closer to reach you. Like a deranged child I invite the storm to consume me. I lust for the lightning to strike me.  When I actually had a home, before it was taken , I would lie out in the backyard which was a field with one big butterfly bush that I had planted , a clothesline and then about a 1/4 acre down the woods leading to the Cumberland River. The clothesline would later become a main fixture in my life
because once when I was pregnant and hanging out clothes 
my mother came running out and told me to stop! "Don't you know what will happen?"  She asked !! On April 17th I delivered a healthy 6 pound baby girl . The cord was wrapped around her neck three times. 
Sometimes we shouldn't question folk lore.

I was born on April fools day in a "sanitarium", early in the morning with no recorded time. All I knew was what my parents told me.   There was a crazy storm .... an April storm .... my mother went into labor and had me naturally. She was a beautiful intelligent woman who had been diagnosed as anorexic. I doubt that my father was there. I was a large baby too big for such a long lean woman and so the doctor used forceps. And low and behold the next thing I hear is that the sun came out and the traffic rush hour had ended and viola' ..... there I be !!

The storm is ending now. The sounds of thunder drift away as the dogs are still stunned and gathered around me. All looking out into the open space of the house.....  waiting.
It will take me awhile to get this whole blog presentation down, I have no understanding of my actual keyboard or my IPAD PRO.  Just had to throw that in there , tee hee. But what good is an excellent machine with a chimpanzee as an operator?

I am at a point in my life where reflection is mostly what I do. Producing art is how I carrry on, it's how I fake being 60 is the new 40. As limited as my life has been I have seen too much for the limited strength of my soul. I am my own worst enemy.
Goodnight wayne

ANNIE McCUE

WHEN MEMORIES BECOME LOST

 OKAY, bear with me while I figure the world of technology out. I'm not of that realm.
I'm beyond 8 track tapes but just barely. But I do have to say as a blogger this IPAD be the bomb.
I think I'm in love with my IPAD which means I have to name it. I will wait for it to speak to me.

 What makes a mind great? Does it come from desire or is it a matter of DNA ? Or as I believe
All things come pre-destined. I believe that there are no accidents. Every single micro association
Of your everyday life is in pre-determined design . We look at the world watching for clues, signs, verbal cues. But do we look past the apparent? Of course, many of us do, and that's when things become YELLOW. Sometimes hazy because you can't believe what your eyes are seeing. The awake dream state. Happens a lot when death comes around.

 I've lived most of my life in a knee jerk state of fight or flight. And working at an asylum perpetuates that state of mind. Never speaking , progressing at breakneck speed to process the meat presented before you, to communicate with those who speak no language. Those who hear only the sounds of different levels of humming. Then silence comes once you've done your time, and as for me and my mate its complete silence. From screaming buzzers and belts and people to complete silence, and yes it is golden, a nice form of yellow.

 

THIS IS REALLY NOW .....

Greetings : first of all let me make my vow , even though my promises are never to be trusted, that I will do my best to stay un-political. Not neutral..... just the best I can do. Scouts honor

It's been such a long time since I've sat before a keyboard and I'm older now.  Perhaps it will come back ? There are times when the ideas flow from my mind and its like an endless river, like anyone might experience whilst road raging, working, hating, loving , you name it. The mind has a tendency to go the abstract in thought to escape and if you're a manic depressive its at that exact point where God takes his finger and touches my head just with the warm quintessential tip........... and it's electric! There were times when I would stay in the zone for days. Work at the asylum and loss/sadness took that away. It's amazing what loss and sadness will do. I have grown to never trust yin and yang. Are the rewards really worth the loses? Payment of spiritual debt and then the affirmation of a greater spiritual level having survived.... is it worth it? It's been a tough week, but a blessed life.  You will find that my work is directly stream of consciousness.  Fuck comma's , sentence fragments, I don't care about any of that.  I process. I regurgitate. I spin it round and make you wonder if what you are reading is really truth or fiction. Is it possible to live fiction? Why would it not be?  Six of one half dozen of the other.....ones mans floor anothers ceiling.......... seriously..... yes you can live fiction! But it must be in the genes.  
Right now at this point in time how are you feeling?  Are you living on one plane?  Maybe floating a few more streams at once? Hey, ,,,,, it happens . Roughly once the "EFFECT' happens there's no way out.... you're in a way different level of vibration ....... yellow YELLOW......... you either want to wallow with the circus clowns, which don't get me wrong, I'm down with that.... its cool. PADDY O. DADDY O.  We are living in perhaps on of the most significant times of the whole frigging existence of  IDIOCRACY AND THE BODY SNATCHERS AND EVERY MOVIE WE EVER BELIEVED TO BE OF WHAT EVER INTEREST.  We are living in a different dimension.  We'll have a total eclipse to add to the fun, people are melding into so many segments that I would say, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE OUTSIDE TO PLAY". PERSONALLY.... I IDENTIFY WITH THE CANINE GROUP FROM A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ERA.... RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS...  so fast, so easy. I would think this in the meantime would lower my insurance rates so perpahs you might hear about it at a RAGE party I'm holding for trans canine rights/!!! TRANS CANINE RIGHTS NOW!! DAMN IT!! GIVE IT TO ME OR I'LL EAT YOUR YOUNG FOR DINNER.... grrrrrrr....... I would leave you with a picture but I haven't figured this pad out . It's the pro.  Which for me is complete overkill .  Please join me.....Things fire up again now. 

Goodnight Wayne