If Marlon was a tomato. He'd be the Godfather of fire roasted. 

A bit off but still a happy gum drop graveyard! In the autumn when the leaves fall and coat the dead in color! Such is life! 

Dudley / husband ,  the devil dog. Socks are his forte'. Kitty poo coated in kitty litter..... hmmmm... makes for the bite behind my devil dogs breath.
I had a dream one night. My dream took place in another time, another place; and there I was with my lover. Like forlorn snakes we were, tangled up in ageless desire , cooing lightly like doves ... we were human.
It had come time for us to part, he and I and all between us. I was being left behind. And as I've said once I'll say a thousand times ; it's better to be the one leaving than the one left behind.
And then he was gone.
I woke from the dream in the middle of the orange glow that we ..... devil dog and I sleep in. My heart was so heavy and filled the room with this feeling of acquiescence.
In my arms I held my Dudley..........my devil dog. He slept calmly in my arms as I began to cry. The kind of crying where each and every tear burns. As Dudley slept softly..... then I knew..... he is/ was my lover. My soulmate transformed into the warmth of perfection and devotion.
How divinely sweet , how would he know?
We are both old now and well..... his time could again come before mine. But I swear to you with all the pleasure and pain the Lord God has dealt me ........ we will meet again. And again, and again, and again.
How divinely sweet.
goodnight

1. The transition: I,  like many have gone through so many a transition. I've taken in so many faces and commanded that my mind remember each and every nuance of the subtle joy and pain that I feel when I've glimpsed into anothers eyes. And no matter how many faces, how much laughter I take in there is never a way to fill the hole in my heart, for the river is deep and the flow is long and ever changing. 
2. The remedy in short term fashion:  denial.
3. The end of the story :  too long ago ...... too far apart..... she couldn't wait another day for the captain of her heart (DOUBLE) 
4. And so I continue . I press my face to the steamy glass to see the china that lines the walls that once graced the tables of love and trouble and joy and heartache. And I open the door and search for postcards and love letters and sure enough ...... I find them. 
5. But never my own. 
6. Fried green tomatoes....... many a southerner swears by them. The cornmeal , the fat , salt and pepper takes you there to a place where satisfaction lies in the belly of the oppressor. 
7. the
8. end 

Monday January .... but first.......

It’s so cold out there, lord just inhumanly cold. Cold like in that Kirk Russell movie The Ting. That’s what Northerners call it; down here in the south we call it The Thang whilst the west coast progressives won't even call the movie anything out of fear of labeling.
However it was a dreadful movie... just like 31 Days of Night.  Lord have mercy! Vampires running the streets for 30 nights, TWENTY FOUR SEVEN OF VAMPIRES. And the thing is.... IT’S COLD LIKE ANARTICA OUT THERE. 30 Days of Night is bad enough. Who’s going out anyway? Who’s going to make a run to the market in the frigid night? But in 30 Days of Night citizens are having to make all kinds of runs. And yes, it would make for a better sense of community to fight insanity or cabin fever I suppose. Lots of babies made? I would think ! But in the likely case of arctic as well as blood sucking conditions......   Not me. What got me started on this? It's March now! From November to April in the south any weather goes.
Now from a personal perspective......
 I 'd rather be a werewolf.  Just think of being so evil, with such a blood lust ;  and pining for the taste of that sweet sap  that zero degrees is “no sweat” .... you just wanna suck blood. That makes vampires slaves to their addiction. Disgusting. And...... when you’re a vampire ALL blood is good. No I take that back, there are some exceptions. I doubt political affiliations mean anything however ......

I’ve been watching a lot of dark movies, yeah. I’ve been watching them for about 30 years now, and that could be a problem. I’m too old for love stories. Too old for Care Bears. Do you find yourself mesmerized by Netflix and Prime series?  People just want more show! They don’t want an hour and a half they want immersion.

People are hanging on the hinges of tubular life. We are being programmed to our specific geno types. 

I am a redneck viking. No doubt. I conspire with nature, but instead of being like the classic shield maiden I'm more like the naked and afraid version of some Woody Allen movie with Kathy Bates playing the lead. I do however consider myself an owl whisperer.   

I was in the store this morning, back in January, and a dignified older (?) man was searching for Brylcreem , and he was frustrated. Handsome and frustrated. I found the Brylcreem but by the time I made it to the front of the store he was gone. Pissed and with hair all awry. Thus the Brylcreem ad.

Lilly is still with me, thank God!  11 years young this year (now 2018).  We've lost a few friends and the count dwindles down. Soon it will be just me. Just me.

DOING JEWELRY... MISSING PAINTING

Posting from a phone is an impossibility for me as is functionality. You see age confuses the mind and the motor skills. Posting an image is a damned impossible privilege for me as well because I can only acquire so many pictures from thousands I have on this phone.😟 why ? 

So perhaps I’ll try my hand at an image again..... here goes 

but now........ i'm back to my computer at the wall of the magenta red.
i cant produce an image. so if i cant produce an image why in the great spirits name cant i raise a little hell. HUH?
Wow what a decade I have lived. it's Just beeN epic. All levels of emotions i have FELT.
and to all of those who have traveled with me i cannot praise and love and protect enough.
i AM a PROtector.
I'm Connie Schwarz and this is THe CARNIval KiNd.
and now i enter my 60's . More purposely in a gothic state of mind. sEdated. ELaTED . Praying to be sedated. i have found that as long as i am producing whatever it may be it is better than producing nothing.
And so i keep going. wRItING , drawing, PAINTING (?) POO ART
that last statement cannot be validated in legal channels of the streets of broadway .
and then of course
there are the ghosts:
this so far ..... as in my first year of 60's is not quite where i  want it yet. if i'm looking toward going out it's got to be in a different way. i feel like as your typical neurotic at times bitch..... can you "dig" that? HOW?
I feel okay about making this ethereal leap into a vast void of entering a different energy field all together.  And the music plays in the background as a young prostitute dances in a tattered dress crying seductively.

Okay heres goes nothing. thats right......
but I Promise to TeLL you things About Me.
and then I WANt you to forGive Me.
yellow.

I think I forgot to down load images . EEH chi WAWA and his disciples of cool. now playing at the diner on the corner that has been known both physically and paranormally.
yellow. 

I'm putting stuff on etsy soon! BUY FROM ME . AND ONLY ME ! OR I'LL HUFF AND I'LL PUFF AND ............? I'LL QUESTION IF ITS REALLY WORTH IT. 

GOODNIGHT WAYNE.